My hair is thick and kind of scratchy. How do you keep your coat so lustrous and beautiful?
Good question Mr. Jack, and thank you for noticing how beautiful and lustrous my coat is!! I spend a lot of time on it so that means a lot to me!! The first thing I must ask you Mr. Jack is where do you go for your shampoos and your haircuts?? This is very important!! I cannot stress this enough!! If you go to a poopy place you're going to come out looking like poop!! I used to go to Petsmart, and I would come out looking like I was out of a concentration camp!!
Now the Big Guy and Jessica take me to Groomingdales Day Spa, and they use only the finest imported shampoos and conditioners on my hair. Even more importantly they express my anal glands, which not only makes the Pants feel better, but it gives me a glow that lasts for up to six weeks. My suggestion to you loyal reader Mr. Jack, is to stop using Pert Plus, get some high class shampoo (call Groomingdales and tell them the Pants sent you! They will totally hook you up my bro!!) and get your anal glands expressed. In no time, your hair is going to be so lustrous no female human person will be able to stop rubbing their fingers through it!!
1 comment:
um, good to know? I'll see about my glands and let you know...
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