Early voting has begun here in Texas, and despite my extensive knowledge of the issues and the candidates, I am being denied my constitutional right to vote!! What an injustice!! What a travesty!!! The people that I talked to on the phone (yes I can use a phone - I have a blog don't I? LOL!!) say it's because i'm technically a dog and thus I can't be a "registered voter", but I really believe it's because I refuse to wear a flag pin on my collar. Listen the Man, you can't keep a good Pants down!!
So since I cannot get out and rock the vote myself(Remember when Diddy had his campaign called "Vote or Die"? Well I think he should have had one called "I Promise to Learn How to Rap Or Die" cause he sucks! Tico told me that one!! LOL!! Oh Tico, how I miss you homeboy!!), it's up to you peeps to get out there and do it in my place. I've noticed recently that some high profile people like Colin Powell (Obama), Matt Damon (Obama) and Jon "Crazy Pants" Voight (McCain)have come out with who they are endorsing. Well, the Pants has been far too silent for far too long! Here are the candidates that the Pants is giving her endorsement to:
President: Barack "I support the Pants not wearing a flag pin" Obama Obama's Website
Not only did Obama not wander around and act crazy like McCain at the debates, but he thinks dogs are awesome and is endorsed by the Humane Society.
The word on the street is that McCain kicks dogs when he's upset, and sometimes pees on cats!! Now if the cat thing is true I might have to switch my vote, but until it can be verified independently (if you have a picture of McCain peeing on a cat send it to my email asap!!) I'm sticking with Obama. I have peed on the Obama sign in our front yard many times to show my support!!
Also, the Pants has more foreign policy experience than Governor Palin!! I've lived on the streets man!! I think I would TOTALLY be a better VP candidate than her!! I'm cuter, I'm smarter, I don't like to kill animals, I know the Big Guy personally and I like to party!! And Tina Fey would NEVER make fun of the Pants like she does of Palin! Tina would totally chill with me and would crack the Pants up. Tina, if you read this blog give me a call!! We can have flirtinis and you can regale me with behind the scenes stories of how hairy Alec Baldwin really is!!! We could be besties!!! If the Pants was the VP candidate, people would never make fun of her like this!
Texas 10th Congressional District: Larry Joe Doherty Larry Joe's site
Now, I'm not voting for my boy LJ because he's a Democrat - the Pants is an independent thinker!! Don't put any labels on me cause they won't stick cause the Pants is like butter!! LOL!! I'm voting for LJ because he's the tops! Look at how awesome this guy is!!
In the primary, LJ's opponent was in a dorky law library in a tv commercial and asked "do you want a tv pesonality representing you?" Ummmm...hells yes the Pants does!!! He'll bring hilarity to the Hill!! (For those less politically astute than the Pants, "The Hill" is what they call Capitol Hill in DC. It's what the Pants calls "Dorkville.") I don't know if people have noticed, but most congressmen are boring tools who would rather raise money than rub the Pants' belly! What is up with that??!!! No way you can tell me that LJ wouldn't stop fundraising to rub the Pants' belly and take me the Pants for a walk! No way!! He would take me to the dog park and would tell me Anna Nicole and Texas Justice stories and secrets like how he doesn't wear underwear under the robe - it would be hilarious!! Oh man Larry Joe, you are the da bomb!! For serious!!
U.S. Senate: The Big Guy (write-in).
I did a lot of research on this, and the Pants has decided that both Rick Noriega and John Cornyn are mayors of Loserville. Here is Noriega. He looks scary, like he might eat the Pants or at least yell at me like I did something wrong!
Hey Rick, chillax big guy!! Nobody threw a trash party at your house so get over yourself!!
And John Cornyn? Well, John is apparently one of the 4 human persons, 2 dogs (Mozart is a die hard Republican (sigh)), and 4 turtles that still think President Bush is doing a good job:
On the other hand, the Big Guy would be awesome in the Senate!! I listen to him and Jessica talk and he has TONS of good ideas such as "I think we need to stop spending $10 billion a week in Iraq", "America is not divided into a Pro-America and Anti-America" and "Pants, let's you and I run away together and leave Jessica with the mortgage!" He is sooooo wise!!! LOL!!! He has played professional baseball, worked in DC already for a big, evil law firm, and has a J.D. Plus, and much more importantly, he is hilarious!!! The other day he put the covers over me and I totally couldn't get out, and the whole time he was tickling me in the dark - it was crazy mad fun! So write in the Big Guy in two weeks!!
Later on peeps. I'm off to take a nap in the sunshine.
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