Little Sister Don't You . . . DARE TRY TO STEAL MY BIG GUY!

Hello Readers! I know it has been a long time since you have heard from me, but this latest post is difficult for me to write! Oh the painful memories!! Anyway, as I posted a few weeks ago, the Big Guy and Jessica wanted to adopt a little sister for me. My friend Emmett told me it would be a great idea, I told him it would not and that he should shove it, and not surprisingly, I was right! The little sister was a DISASTER! And the worse part of the whole ordeal was that it was the Big Guy's idea!! I mean, I would expect this from Jessica. I pretty much ignore her, try to push her out of the bed, try to eat her food (although really, in that case, I'm just trying to help - PUT DOWN THE CHIPS FATTY!), and generally illustrate my disdain by glaring at her from across the room. She might want a little friend to cuddle with, but the Big Guy, he has no need to stray from our relationship! But he did, and I haven't quite forgiven him yet.

So, before I regale you with the "Tale of Juniper" (it's not as catchy as Mrs. Clancy Pants), I thought I would take a little jab at the Big Guy by posting pictures from some of our most recent adventures and general good times. If this does not shame him into never wanting to get another dog ever ever again, then nothing will work. (NOTE: This will work. The Big Guy is a Big Wimp, he hates the guilt!)

Big Guy, remember the fun times we had at the Dog Fair in Brentwood Park?? I do!! Like it was yesterday!

"Thank You Dog Fair! I FEEL welcome!!"

"Oh Big Guy, I know you will always have my back! (At least, I knew it at the time!)"

Remember how we checked out all the sites!

You helped me realize that I did not want to go through the freaky blue tunnel.

"Nope."

But you helped me realize that I did want to go over the kick ass obstacle pyramid thing!

"ADRIENNE!!!!"

And to top it all off, we ran into my buddy Astro!!

"Astro, seriously, how can you get that close? GAG!!"

"My pleasure, PEEP-LES."

Then, we celebrated both of our birthdays!! We are both Pisces, no wonder we are so perfect together. First, for your birthday, John and Cafferty came to hang out and karaoke with me and Pink Guy!! It was awesome!!!

"Menage-a-trois anyone?"

"Heaven!"

"Ok Pink Guy, I'll sing one more!! 'If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it!'"

NICE!

And then there was my birthday, which was like 50-something days ago according to the stupid countdown thing on the side of my blog, which Jessica probably put up and can't figure out how to take down!! We went to the dog park, just the two of us!!! It was wonderful, dare I say, funderful!

"Are we there yet???"

"OMG, I'm having so much fun, I think I'm going to start hallucinating!"

"Grandpa???"

"Probably time to go home, but WHAT A DAY!!!"

Alas, then it all went awry. Suddenly, that little tart Juniper was EVERYWHERE!!!! She was at Poochtini and Peticure night, she showed up at trivia at Mother Egan's, and it was all okay because she was with her own people.

"Um, okay, I don't think I can get the answer by osmosis."

"No, I AM CUTE, but I do not think we look cute together! What kind of question is that Big Guy?"

Then she showed up at our HOUSE!!! And her people left her!! It was awful. The Big Guy was feeding us both, and I was upset. He was letting her play with my toys, and I was upset. She was lying on my couches, and I was upset. She got up in my bed and I was LIVID! All weekend I avoided her. She'd come near me, and I would go hide in the other room. Jessica was upset because I wasn't making an effort. (I didn't really care.) The Big Guy started feeling the guilties (DUH!). And, in the end, it became clear that there could only be one top dog. ME!!!!!! Here are some pics of the horrors. Warning - they are not for the squeamish or faint of heart.

"You are not on the neighborhood watch. Please cease and desist!"

"Well, make yourself at home why don't you! That's MY couch! (Even if I rarely sit there.)"

"I am locking myself in this prison until you get rid of her Big Guy."

"I'm totally serious, and it is NOT comfy in here with this giant bed, NOT AT ALL."

"Bye Bye Bye!"

Ahhh, I do love dissing people with In Sync lyrics. Sweet justice she was sent packing. Crisis averted. The Pants DOES NOT WANT A SISTER!!! OR A BROTHER!!!! Can't we just adopt some lonely person from the street? They always LOVE the Pants, and pay me much attention. Other dogs take away attention - see the difference!!!

Big Guy, it hurts me to have to scold you like this. It truly does. I hope you have learned your lesson. I expect a fabulous weekend for the two of us while Jessica is in California. I want it all, Freddie's Place, Downtown, Billy's on Burnet, Cafferty - THE WORKS! So, stop reading, and GET PLANNING!

Stay thirsty my friends!