ROAD TRIP!!!

Reader peeps!! I can't talk long because I am packing furiously, but the Big Guy and I are driving up to Plano today to spend the next four days with Grandpa Jim, Grandma Linda and kick ass Cousin Brian!! Jessica will be there too.

I'm just trying to get my mind wrapped around (at least) 4 hours in the car with the Big Guy! We will totally play the license plate game and spend some time gossiping about whatever strikes our fancy: The latest office hijinks (Happy thanksgiving MM, Jack and Sunny!); Tico's new screenplay; how awesome it's been without Jessica the last two days and how the Big Guy should take me to Rice's bowl game even though I rooted for UTEP when they played the Owls. (Forgive me Big Guy!! My heart is with UTEP! I can't change my essence!!)

Got to go pack. Have a great Thanksgiving reader peeps!! It's Plano or bust for the Pants!

The Ginger Man!!

Who rocks the party? The PANTS rocks the party? I said who rocks the party? The PANTS rocks the party!!!!

I ESPECIALLY rock the party in my bad ass Notre Dame uniform!!

So like I said in my previous post reader peeps, the Big Guy and Jessica took me to a real life working human person happy hour!!! The Pants has always heard rumors of these "happy hours" and the word from Tico is that people get together to let their hair down and party hearty! Since the Big Guy has short hair, I wasn't sure what he was going to do about this hair letting down thing!!  I didn't want the Big Guy to be the lamest happy hour guy ever! So at first I was nervous. This is my nervous face:

For the last time, I don't want to play Wii!!!

I got over my nerves and the Pants and Jessica piled into the Nissan land boat and cruised down Guadalupe, or "The Drag" as the local UT students, hippies and homeless peeps call it.

Hey Hippies, check out my sweet Doggles!! Hook 'em!!

We parked and rolled into the Ginger Man, which is an awesome place in downtown Austin! I got carded at the door too by the door man.  It made me feel so young!!! So I totally had to flirt with the door guy then by doing my super cute dance moves, but Jess had to ruin it by saying I was 35 in dog years. Ummm....thanks Messica. (I totally just came up with that right now!! LOL!!)

The Ginger Man: Taking the Pants to funkytown since 2008.

We went to the back, and guess who was there?? My homegirl MM!! She has a new puppy named Emmett who is totally chill!!

What a duo!! Just keepin' it reals...

In fact Emmett is so chill I think he might have a weed problem.  There is no way a 12 week old dog (trust me I remember being 12 weeks old - I was like Jim Carrey eating a crystal meth Fun Dip!) can be that Fonzie-cool without hitting the bong beforehand.  MM, let's have an intervention!!

Emmett, if you don't stop I won't help you trade greenies for weed anymore!

So reader peeps, if you have never been to a "happy hour" I say go as fast as your land boat can take you!! Apparently a "happy hour" means you go chill at a bar with cool peeps and have some beers. It was awesome, except one problem...the Pants doesn't drink beers! I need flirtinis or a nice riesling (or a roach bait to chew) to get my buzz on! But that didn't stop the Big Guy and Jess from trying. I guess they thought I was thirsty!

A pilsner? They are soooo 2006!

The weather was great! The conversation was awesome! At one point I had to leap up on the table to drop some knowledge on T-roy and Nicole.

For the last time T-roy! Trickle down economics is a fool's plan!!

After I jumped down from the table to avoid the massive bird poopage (the Big Guy was COVERED! As always, hilarious job Big Guy!!! We are totally BFFs!) and then thought I saw Frito Guy!! But unfortunately it was just a bald guy with a weird ponytail. Still, I leapt on their table when I thought they insulted the Big Guy!

You mess with the Big Guy, you mess with the Pants and you get the paws!!!

All in all, we partied for 2 hours and headed home. What a great friday!!! In fact, I was so happy Jessica took me downtown that I snuggled with her a bit to say thanks.

Shhhhh. Don't tell anyone.

Happy Hour!!

Holy Crap!!! Jessica and I are about to get in the car to go to happy hour DOWNTOWN to meet the Big Guy, MM, her new puppy and other work peeps!! The Pants gets to go downtown and booze!!

Today is the greatest day in the history of all days.

Frito Guy, Trash Parties, and Kolaches!! Oh My!!

Hello again readers!! Now that Jessica is occupied solving her little lamp problem, (LOL!) I totally have time to post about my awesome trip to Houston a few weeks ago!!! As usual, it was awesome! We arrived at Frito Guy's house on Halloween. I was so excited to see Frito Guy!!! I ran around and we played together while Jessica and the Big Guy went and put on their costumes! The Big Guy went as the "Dick in a Box" guy!! HILARIOUS!! Even though it is a little outdated - the Big Guy can pull it off. Jessica went as Hannah Montana. (She watches that show, seriously readers, totally explains a lot in my opinion!) And Frito Guy, he chose the best costume of all!!! Himself!

LOL you two!! Comedy GOLD!

So, they all went out for the evening to celebrate Tim Friend's birthday, so I got cozy on my favorite chair and took a little nap!

MMM! Leather! Frito Guy is first class all the way!

I woke up from nap and to my dismay, I really had to pee. Uh oh! This was an emergency! It was getting late and no one had come home to take me out. So, I did what any dog would do, I tried to make it to the toilet. And I almost did!! Unfortunately, I had to pee on Frito Guy's bedroom floor before I could make it!

I totally peed right there!! Oops! Sorry Frito Guy!

So, as I was already going to be in trouble, I decided to capitalize on the situation and have a kick ass Houston-style Trash Party in Frito Guy's house! It was awesome!! Frito Guy has the best trash!! I ate some yummy chips, salsa, pancakes, pizza, and paper!! I distributed napkins throughout the house!! It was awesome, and sooo liberating! I almost forgot that I had peed upstairs. But then, I heard the peeps come home. Jessica was the first to notice some trash on the steps. (Of course - she's always looking to destroy a good time!) So, I ran under the table in anticipation of my scolding.

Please don't spank me Frito Guy!

But it turns out, I was worried for nothing!! Frito Guy wasn't mad about the Trash Party or the pee!! He totally laughed as he cleaned up the Trash!

Oh Pants!! You slay me with your crazy antics!

Frito Guy is so awesome, he even let me sleep in his bed!! It is so roomy, the Pants loves it!! It's also really high off the ground, so I can get my buns of steel workout in!! Yay!! I have to stay fit for the cute boys I might meet!! Then, the next morning, Frito Guy took me to the park! I forgot to bring my camera, so the following are just re-enactments!

Hey Frito Guy! I'm having so much fun at the park!! What about you?

Hey, is that Beyonce?? She's from Houston!

Boo!

After the park, Frito Guy and I went and picked up some Kolaches. We totally shared them in his living room!

Ok Frito Guy, don't bogart the kolaches!

Oh, look who finally woke up, AFTER all the fun had occurred. That's right - JESSICA!

Leave me alone!

Seriously, it was a great time! Frito Guy rocks!! I would love it if Frito Guy would run away with the Big Guy and I! I mean, he's hilarious!! And so cute!! And we could drink Flirtinis!! Who could resist this face?

After we left Frito Guy's, we went to visit the Big Guy's parents, Grandma and Grandpa Houston!! First, we stopped by Grandpa John's pharmacy! It was awesome, I got to go inside and help customers with their ailments. And Grandpa John told me how awesome I am!! (I know! But I appreciate the good vibes Grandpa!) Then we went to see Grandma Marilyn, and she totally gave me like a million Greenies!! And I got to run around the yard! It was awesome. To top it all off, Jessica slept in the backseat of the car the whole way home while the Big Guy and I listened to music, gossiped, and played the license plate game!

I totally see California! Your turn Big Guy!

Ahh, good times. Once again Houston, you have outdone yourself in making the Pants feel welcome and in providing a good time!! Too bad for you that next time we come I'm going to try to talk the Big Guy into leaving Jessica there! Better you than me Houston, better you than me!

Covert Sabotage Begins!

Hey!!! So, as I totally am against Jessica now, I thought I'd start doing things to sabotage her life at home!! LOL!! So, she has this lamp on her nightstand. It's a touch lamp and has three settings. She likes to turn it on and READ!! Instead of petting me!! So, today, I totally broke the sensor!! The touch turn-on doesn't work anymore!! She has to plug it in to turn it on and unplug it to turn it off!! Good luck figuring out how to solve that problem - GENIUS!!! Tee hee!! I will keep you all posted on further acts of sabotage!

All Peace Talks are Henceforth Called OFF!

Well, good afternoon readers.  As you may or may not be aware, Jessica and I have been getting along better these days.  We are home together all day, and I've gotten used to her lying around on the couch, eating, and getting fat ways.  However, yesterday, this all ended.  Jessica, the Big Guy, and I went to the park in our neighborhood. It is a small park, but it is fun.  There are always a lot of young peeps running around, lots of squirrels, and lots of room to frolic for the Pants.  We were running around, having a good time, when the Pants began to explore one of the "play grounds."  I was sniffing around this equipment when Jessica lured me to the top of what is called a "slide."  Then, to my horror, as I was sniffing the slide and checking it out, I felt a foot push my bottom, and BOOM, down the slide I went!  Let me tell you readers, these "slides" are not fun!  They are terrifying death rides.  My paws were hurled into the air, I passed the Big Guy and was like "help me Big Guy!", but he couldn't!  The slide was too fast!!  I was swirled around and down until I landed with a thud and ran away.

At this point, Jessica laughed and laughed and was all, "Oh Clancy, I'm sorry, are you ok?"  Well Jessica NO!  I am NOT OK!!  And you Madam, are most definitely NOT OK!  You are a sick person who gets her jollies scaring the Pants.  So, needless to say, we are no longer friends.  It is once again, me and the Big Guy versus Jessica.  The Big Guy is still awesome.  One time, he put me on some playground equipment called a "swing"!  But that was totally cool!!!  I will admit that at the time I was scared shitless, but in hindsight, it was HILARIOUS!  Because the Big Guy is HILARIOUS!  Not evil, like Jessica!  Love you Big Guy!

Election Parties Rock!!!

Holy moly reader peeps!! What a day!! Jessica and the Big Guy hosted an election party on Tuesday and all my favorite human people were there!
Jack? check!
Little Samuel? check!
MM? check!
Sunny? check!
Her main man Rob? check!
Amy, Jack's human squeeze? check!
Cafferty! CHECK!! It was unreal!!

Jessica made a lasagna from scratch and everyone loved it! Apparently "from scratch" means "by spending 6 hours ignoring the Pants." The Pants does NOT like this "scratch" very much. At all!

But nevermind, let me tell you about the party of all parties!! For starters, I was SUPER nervous about the election. I thought if McCain won that he would enslave all of the dogs and make us work as slaves like in "Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome."  Or at the very least might make me have to tutor Sarah Palin in "basic commen sense."  So I decided to just lay on the bed and show my support for Obama:

I wonder if this bumper sticker will come off?

I then decided to wait at the window as always, waiting for my peeps to show up:

"Let's go peeps!!! The Pants is ready to party!"

The first to arrive were that crazy ginger haired guy Jack and Samuel who (along with Luke) is one of my two favorite little humans!! Samuel got right to rubbing my belly, which I TOTALLY appreciated, though he didn't dump any dirt on me which was kind of a bummer. I LOVE dirt, especially when Sammy does it!

Tiny hands of magic

Rob and Sunny came over, but sadly did not bring their boat. Maybe next time! They were still hilarious though!! They brought all kinds of patriotic stuff over to bring home the victory! Look at these two uber-patriots!! LOL!

The Pants dares anyone to rock harder than these two!

Unfortunately Jack tried to wear the same stuff...but he just ended up looking like a dork. FRUITY GINGER ALERT! LOL!! (I still love you Jack!)

"Hi, my name is Jack Skaggs, and I'm a dork!"

Then the results started to come in! New Hampshire came through for Obama, but then Kentucky disappointed by going with McCain. The bluegrass state? More like the suckgrass state!! Luckily I had MM and Amy to chill with and keep me calm. How hot are these two chicas in this picture?? For serious!!

Va-va-VOOM!!

Everyone chowed on Jessica's lasagna, salad, breads and yummy desserts. Also, many bottles of wine and champagne got opened...and the Big Guy let me lick a little wine off his fingers. That really took the edge off! Thanks Big Guy! I thanked him by taking this picture of him with Amy and Cafferty!!

Who ordered the Big Guy sandwich?

Then, the MOST UNEXPECTED AND UNPRECEDENTED THING EVER HAPPENED!!! Seriously Reader Peeps! It was the greatest moment of the Pants' life!! I kid you not!! The Cafferty totally gave me a huge hug!!! I swear to you I could feel rainbows and sunshine all through my body. It was like the Care Bears, but not lame and gay!

GREATEST. MOMENT. EVER.

Really, really gay.

(Sorry Bro Person, I know that you love them!)

Then, the election results started to tighten up! So I did what any Obama dog would do...I put on the "Bark for Barack" shirt that Sunny brought me:

YES WE CAN!!!

Some states wise up and went blue, but others went Red. Even though Travis County voted 2 to 1 for Obama, McCain took Texas going away. Oh silly Texas. But Ohio came through big time!! Thanks Ohio! I'm sorry I make fun of the word "buckeye" and also that last week I said that if it wasn't for the Ohio River you would just be part of Kentucky. (though that was totally funny! SNAP!) Just when we needed a push for victory, Jess and MM totally took the party to the next level! Even Jessica was hysterical that night!

Helping bring the blue states home!

Then, just when California's polls closed...CNN made the projection! My main man was PRESIDENT! It's an OBAMA-NATION!!!

YES WE DID!!

The Pants was sooooo excited!!! Everyone but Jessica and the Big Guy eventually went home and the three of us watched the candidates' speeches. The Pants teared up a bit and thought how far African-American people have come in the last half-century...what a night!! However, when will a dog run for Congress?? It's time canines! YES WE CAN!!!

Now, there are people out there who have been loading up on guns and that there isn't going to be an America in 4 years. Ummm, get a grip. Seriously. Nobody likes a poopface!! Besides, everyone still has the Pants' belly to rub for the next 4 years, so buck up right wingers!!

What a night! I'm going to go jump on the Big Guy and make him take me out. I have to go drop a serious Palin!! Later!!

It's an Obama-nation@

The Pants is so excited and feels so blessed to have witnessed this moment in history.  I will post pics of my night soon my loyal readers, do not despair.  But, I just wanted to say to America on this historic night of nights, "Kriss Kross will make you jump!  Jump!!"  Truer words have never been spoken!

Get Out and Vote!

Hey Peeps! Get out and vote!! And don't forget my endorsements!! As Tico says "Obamanos!" LOL!