Dear Pants,
It's October again and I'm getting stressed out thinking of that humiliating human event called Halloween. My Mom likes to dress me in silly, demeaning outfits and then takes me out in public for everybody to see! Can't she see how stupid I look in these get-ups? How can I discourage her from dragging me into this annoying human "holiday" this year?
Mitsu, Shiba Princess of the Orient
This question was accompanied by this picture:
Dear Mitsu:
All I can say is wow, that is seriously the most terrifying costume I have ever seen!!!! I would totally not want to go out in public like that! That is the worst kind of humiliation a pooch can suffer!!! Last year, Jessica and the Big Guy (mainly Jessica) wanted to dress me up in this:
While admittedly, the Pants would have rocked that outfit, thankfully cooler heads prevailed and the Big Guy did not make the Pants dress up for Halloween! Or maybe he was just too cheap to buy the costume. Whichever, I did not have to wear it!!
Instead, I got to help hand out candy to the kids when the knocked on the door!! This is totally what I think Mitsu should do!! It is soooo exciting!! Their are tons of knocks at the door, which means tons of opportunities for barking and running up and down the hallway like a maniac! Also, kids love the Pants, so there was plenty of petting and love for me!! Then, you give them candy, which makes you even more loved!! So, Mitsu, here is what you need to do. You need to get a big bowl and fill it with candy. Then, hand out the candy to your owners. When they are reading, watching t.v., whatever, just bring them a piece of candy!! If they are smart humans, maybe they will see how cute it is to have a dog handing out candy and forgo dragging you through the neighborhood in that hideous outfit!!
However, if they still try to dress you up, I have two suggestions. Trash Parties and Peeing. First, have a Trash Party. Not related to Halloween at all, it just like totally awesome!!! Second, pee on the costume. As many times as it takes. You may get in trouble, in which case, have ANOTHER TRASH PARTY!! You are already in trouble, so why not?? And if your costume is peed on, they will be too mad to take you out!!
Good luck to you fair Mitsu! Keep me posted!
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