More Wordle...

The Pants can't get enough of it! This is a wordle about my boating day!! Oh Buoy!

Wordle

Hey all! I will be posting about my birthday adventures soon! Thanks for all the birthday wishes! However, right now I'm too busy "recovering to do much of anything, so I made a "Wordle". I got the idea from Amy Skaggs (my main man Samuel's mom) and did it at www.wordle.net. As you can see, I love the Big Guy!

TV Photocap: Grey's Anatomy

Here's a new feature that the Pants is rolling out! I love to watch TV with the Big Guy and Jessica, but have begun VERY annoyed at the show that is Grey's Anatomy.  This show was always trash TV, but it was fun and the Pants loved the shenanigans at Seattle Grace Hospital!!.  In the last 2 years though, it has undergone seriously major suckage.  If you have never watched the show, let me introduce you to the main suckfaces....er, characters:

Meredith Grey

Meredith Grey (get it? "Grey"'s Anatomy! oh man....verbal hinjinks!) is the central protagonist of the show even though she sucks really, really hard.  More importantly she looks exactly like the Grinch!!  Also her mom is dead, but was a great doctor (and a real Type A bizzatch) who had an affair with the Chief a long time ago  Finally, McDreamy loves her, but she keeps making excuses not to be happy.  Meredith is stupid.

"I've come to steal your jingtinglers and floobfloobers!!!"

Derek Shepherd

Known as "McDreamy" because of his hotness and his lustrous sweet, sweet hair, Derek is inexplicably in love with the Grinch.  He is a world class brain surgeon who is so good at his job that up to half of his patients never survive!!  He is kind of stupid.

"A threesome with Meredith and the Cat-in-the-Hat?? I'm in."

Isobel Stevens

First of all, who the hell spells their name "Isobel?"  It's "IsAbel" moron!  Known as "Izzy", she is the most annoying TV character ever created (well, next to her dead beau Denny who just would NEVER GO AWAY!!).  She is whiny, needy, incompetent, selfish, annoying and dumb. other than that, she's awesome!  On the plus side, she now has a brain tumor and will be leaving the show soon when she dies! Yay!!! Needless to say, she is super, super, super stupid.

"Does Excedrin get rid of brain tumors? I'm a very bad doctor."

George O'Malley

The whiniest character in television history, George somehow gets all the girls in the hospital to fall in love with him, but instead of hooking up with them he just pouts. A lot!!  He is also leaving the show, sadly he hasn't been diagnosed with a brain tumor. Yet.  Luckily he is almost never on the show anymore because even the show's writers ran out of ideas to make him interesting - no small feat!!  He is super stupid.

"How come the girls in this hospital are the only ones alive that don't know I'm gay?"

Alex Karev

The most brooding character of the show, likes to sleep around, make fun of O'Malley and just generally be an ass.  Needless to say, he's pretty awesome!  Unfortunately for him, he likes Izzy, who ignored him for weeks because she was humping her dead boyfriend Denny (don't ask me to explain, suffice to say the story line was so dumb it made the Big Guy yell at the TV. A lot!).  Alex does not suck at all!

Warning: Serious Brooding

Christina Yang

Yang, affectionally known as the "Pan Face" (not because she's Asian - the Pants loves Asians! She just has the flattest face ever!) is mean and would NEVER in a million years rub the Pants' belly.  She is the only one of the young doctors who seems to have actually been through medical school and is very good at her job.  Unfortunately, she's about as much fun to hang out with as a rattlesnake. She is stupid.

"If I met you Reader Peep, I would totally hate you."

Mark Sloan

Known as "McSteamy" due to his good looks and general awesomeness, Sloan is the best character on the show by like a billion miles.  He slept with Addison and broke up McDreamy's marriage, but now they are buds - because hey, who can stay mad at this face??  He's now dating Meredith's younger sister which is kind of annoying, but nothing he does can make me love him less.  More wisecracks and hijinks please Dr. Sloan!! You are the Pants' most favorite and the best!!

"Hey Pants, how about heading into the closet with me?"

Lexie Gray

Meredith's half sister (they share a looney tunes father), Lexie is an intern and has a photographic memory.  She also is really, really lame.  Unlike Izzy and George she isn't incompetent, she is just dull.  Also, the Big Guy is perplexed with her because after two years he still can't decide whether she's attractive or not.  Oh Big Guy!!  Such trials!!!  Plus, the Pants doesn't like her because recently she broke Dr. Sloan's...ummm...special little Sloan.  Not cool Lexie!!! She is kind of stupid.

"Wait, you can break it?"

Addison Montgomery

Addison was awesome, but then she stupidly left Grey's Anatomy for one of the worst shows ever - Private Practice.  Private Practice makes Grey's Anatomy look like the West Wing.  Poor Addison and Taye Diggs, trapped on that crappy show.  Grandpa John thinks Addision is super hot which makes the Pants feel weird inside.  Not cool Grandpa John!!  Anyway, Addison is McDreamy's  ex-wife who, while she was married, cheated on him with McSteamy (I'm not judging Addy! He is yummy! LOL) and then hooked it up with Alex!!  Plus any time she was stressed/upset/happy/sad/alive/breathing, she was boozing it up at the bar next door.  She's awesome.  Come back to Grey's Addison!!

The typical viewer's reaction to Private Practice.

Miranda Bailey

Dr. Bailey is kind of cool.  She is fiery, feisty and all those other terms people on TV call spirited college point guards (except she is not a "gym rat").  Despite being pretty cool, she was responsible for the (lack of) development of the 5 young and generally terrible doctors since she was their resident.  Despite this, she's proven to be one of the best surgeons at the hospital since her patients die only about 1/3 of the time.  Her husband is also a huge loser - imagine Michael on "Lost" but times ten.  Super stupid right?  Dr. Bailey is okay.

"Yeah, Dr. Bailey has 'do me' eyes.  Deal with it!"

Richard Webber

The Chief of Surgery was pretty awesome when he was just the dorky Chief who went fishing and wanted to hang out with the guys.  Now that he's trying to brood (that's Alex's job Chief!) he's not nearly as funtastic.  He used to get it on with Meredith's mom while she was married so they have a weird, but weirdly close relationship.  Most importantly, the Chief would definitely rub the Pants' belly if given the chance!! He is okay.

"Our surgery department is outstanding! Over 8% of our patients survive and over 30% of those aren't in a coma a month later!"

The Interns

This is a picture of just one of the interns, who apparently are all morons.  Instead of acting like they went to medical school, they act like they just got done tapping keg #2 at a frat party.  Their actions generally involve acting stupid, making mistakes, making silly faces when being asked serious questions and possibly pooping their pants.  They are ridiculous and must be stopped at all costs!  They are stupid.

"Franks and beans! Franks and beans!"

So there you have most of the cast of the show.  Also, if you are ever in Seattle and get sick under no circumstances should you ever go to this hospital.  The odds are that you will die, no matter what minor affliction you might have.  

Downtown Clancy Brown!!

Reader peeps!! I have so much to blog to you about! In the immortal words of Pink, let's get this party started!!

So a few weeks ago, I was lying around taking a nap, when the Big Guy told me we were going out for the day! Such excitement!!!  We hopped into his sweet Prius (FYI - it's name is "John Black" after the best daytime TV character EVER!! Oh Big Guy, you are the tops!!) and took off for a ride. I wasn't sure where we were going, so I totally was grilling him big-time:

"If you are taking me to the dog bath place I'm going to kill you."

But being awesome and totally Big Guy-ish, he let me know that it was the Pants' "Sex and the City" day!  At first I got worried, thinking that I was going to have to see a neighbor guy's penis like I did in the movie. SUPER GROSS! But luckily the Big Guy just meant that we were going to go to lunch downtown and I was going to get to bump paws with all the movers and shakers on the streets of Austin!! 

"Hey Leslie! Move and shake it man!"

We picked up Jessica from work and they ran inside JW to get something "notre-ized". It must have had something to do with Notre Damn and the lads. (Go Irish!) Once they were done, they came and got me from the car and took me up to the street.  However, instead of being normal and taking the stairs, they forced me into a moving room of death!! I hate them!!!  The only way I've been able to survive them is to go into crouch mode to counteract the terrifying death movement.

Notice the lifesaving crouching. You have to really bend the knees!

Soon we were on Congress Ave. and taking in the sunshine and smells of downtown Austin.  My town rocks!

Best. Duo. Ever.

While on the streets we ran into one of the Big Guy's old business colleagues.  He rubbed my belly, but before we could get a picture of him and the Pants, he backed out saying he didn't want to be on the blog.   Who doesn't want to be on the blog?? It's an honor!!!

"When the Pants says pose, you pose bizzatch!"

And who was this man who was too scared to take on the Pants? That's right, the legendary Captain Poopface!! 

"I'm scared of the Pants! And cameras!"

Not letting the picture debacle get the three of us down, we took off north on Congress, walking next to where they are building the Austonian condos and through this super long creepy hallway!

"Let's pick it up guys!  Seriously, what if a tape devil or dustbuster comes after me right now! The Pants would be dead!!! Hurry!!"

Soon we were back on the streets and I was totally chatting up other 2009 Austin businesswomen on their lunch break.

"Excuse me miss, but you're wearing jeans to work downtown? 

That's so 1997. Make it work!"

Here is the Big Guy ignoring my obvious desire to go to the Littlefield Mall and pick up a new cowboy hat:

"PAY ATTENTION!"

Then it was onto my new favorite downtown restaurant - the Pita Pit!!  After posing for this picture with me, the Big Guy went in to get the food while Jessica and I chillaxed at a table outside and greeted everyone going in and out.

God I love Falafel Fridays! 

Once we dropped Jessica back off at work, I dug into my lunch.

"Big Guy, I said wheat bread, not white bread!!  You're better than that!"

Then the Big Guy and ran some errands and it was on to my favorite restaurant in ALL of Austin!! Freddie's Place!!!  We met up with my favorite fellow redhead Sunny (sorry Jack, if you were there that day YOU would have been my favorite ginger.  The Pants is fickle.) to have some drinks and hang out!

"One High Life please!"

"Did someone order a Pants?"

"Yes, I'm very cute Sunny, thank you.  Now where's my High Life??"

After 3 of the most fun hours of my life with Sunny and the Big Guy, Jessica showed up:

Help.

Just kidding! Jessica was totally fun that day. And what a day it was! Thanks Jessica, Big Guy and Sunny for making my Sex and the City day perfect!!  I got to hang with the businessfolk, eat some food, gossip over drinks and then go home and take a nap - all on a 60 degree perfect day!  Big Guy, I know you keep talking about "needing money", but please, I implore you - NEVER GET A JOB!!  Unemployed Big Guy = heaven for the Pants.

The Pants and Austin: a winning combination since 2003.

A Shout Out from Emmett!!

So I was checking my email today and IM'ing with Tico (he told me an un-pc joke about a Cuban, a Puerto Rican and a chihuahua today that totally slayed the Pants!!) when I got this email from Emmett.  In case you've forgotten, he's my main homegirl's MM's pup, and he is totally boss.  Since he's still not good with pic messaging yet, MM sent it for him. It said "Emmett says to tell his main squeeze Clancy that he pines for her (as shown in this photo) ;-)"  Oh man, I'm pumped!! Not only did Emmett give me a serious shout-out, but a wink too??  It's good you can't see me Reader Peeps, because the Pants is seriously blushing!  If I was only aging backwards like boring Benjamin Button, we could totally have a fling for the ages Emmett!!

Check out how intense my love for you is Pants...

Hey Big Guy...

The reason I'm staring at you from the couch is not because I'm bored...it's because the Pants needs to take a dump! Come on Big Guy! Let's go for a walk!!!

Give the Pants an Oscar...

for continuing my Oscar post from last week (it has been a busy neighborhood watch week Reader Peeps!). Now without further ado (because let's face it, there has been too much ado recently) let's get to the broadcast.

Hugh Jackman opened the night by dancing around all super-hot-for-a-human-person like! Talk about bringing sexy back! Wowsas!!

Hey Oscars! Don't make Hugh be some sort of weird crossbar in your silly Oscar field goal competition! He's Wolverine for goodness sake!!

Needless to say, my main man Hugh totally rocked the hizzy!  Some of his friends came out on stage to help him through his big opening number.

Hugh is one material girl!

Then, my girl Beyonce (who I chill with whenevs I go to H-Town) came out on stage. I love her and all, but she totally dances like she has the epilepsy.

Maybe this top hat will protect me from the blinking lights!

Then it was time for awards galore!!  For the acting ones, they did this weird thing where 5 former winners came out to present the award and each talked about one of the nominees. It wasn't "Scarlett Johannsen coming out of the balcony" weird, but it was pretty weird.

"We were all so much better than you nominees are...well, except for little Halle on the end there of course, bless her heart."

Penelope Cruz won for "Vicky Christina Barcelona!"  I didn't see it because Woody Allen is old and creepy and stopped making good movies before the Pants was born.  However, good for her. Viva La Espana!

"It's true, Tom only got aroused sexually when I wore a L. Ron Hubbard mask. Or when I ordered one of his favorite male prostitutes."

Two of my favorite people came out to present an award! Tina Fey and Steve Martin! Hilarity!

"Why don't you let me get that booger for you?"

When they started handing out Oscars to random asian guys, I went and refilled my flirtini glass.

Hey asian guy, when does Rush Hour 4 come out???

Then stupid "Man on Wire" won despite it being the most boring movie ever.  That French guy sucks.

Don't just watch him! Grab the Oscar and stab him!!!

Then Ben Stiller came out and set a personal record by being funny more than once in the same calendar year!

More like "V for Va-Va-Voom!" I heart you Natalie!

The best actor award went to Sean Penn.  Once again, Air Bud was denied!!!  Oh Air Bud, when will the Academy give you your due!

"The color black and gay people both RULE!"

Then in the biggest surprise of the night, South Park's "Timmy" won for Best Director!  He was undercover however, and went by the code name "Danny".

"DANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNY!!!!"

"TIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMY!!!!!!!!!!!"

Kudos to you Timmy!! Then it was time for Best Picture. And the winner is...Slumdog!!!  Man, if you thought there were a lot of defections when the Cuban baseball team came to America, you haven't seen anything yet.  Congrats to the cast and crew, and good luck staying in the country!!!

"Angelina, will you adopt us??"

Michigan Sucks!

This is the same reaction the Pants has when I hear the Michigan fight song! LOL! Go IRISH!!!