To all the peeps in and out my door
I know i've been away
But for you I'm back today
To all the peeps I've loved before
Hey everyone! You're looking live..er...reading live at what might be one of the last entries that comes from the House of Payne! Jessica snookered someone into giving her a real job in Houston. For money! For reals! Houstonians are stupid!!! LOL!
So the news is that we are going to be moving down to Houston and reunited with the Big Guy again. R-A-P-T-U-R-E!!! Needless to say, when I heard this news I was so excited that I insisted on multiple belly rubs from a number of never-before-tried angles! I can't wait to hang with Beyonce once I get to H-town.
Before the Bayou City becomes my home, I have to tell you about the exploits of Dame Pants Hilary! Over Labor Day Weekend, Jessica and the Big Guy kept saying that we were going to Enchanted Rock on Monday and asking me if I was excited. I jumped up and did my cute little dance, but I'm going to level with you peeps, I had no idea what this Enchanted Rock was. It sounded like it could either be magical in an awesome way, or magical in a super lame way. What if it was just some rock and they dressed me up in some wizard outfit, like this!
Dear poor dog friend, your pride called, it's never coming back.
As we drove in the Prius west on Labor Day, they told me Enchanted Rock was some sort of mountain! OMG!! It is a dome made out of pink granite that is 425 feet tall! We got there and I was totes nervous! But I couldn't let them see me sweat (that would come later, you know, when I was climbing a freaking MOUNTAIN) so I gave them my best super confident face:
Nope. Not my douchey a-hole face.
Dear Hulkster,
Please make your daughter go away.
Sincerely,
Everyone
Not quite there...
HELLS YEAH! KEEP FEAR ALIVE STEPHEN!
My sweater of confidence.
So reader peeps here is a photocap of the big day at Enchanted Rock. Enjoy!
Enchanted Rock. Note the grandeur!
"You want me to climb WHAT?"
"Yes, yes, I've read the map. Let's DO THIS!"
If you were clumsy, you could fall into prickly cacti.
Because of this, we had to keep our eyes on Jessica all day! LOL!
Before we even started our climb, I was attacked by local wildlife!!
"Big Guy, he is totally coming back! FOR SERIOUS! HELPS!"
"I told you that monster was coming back.
Have I mentioned that I hate Enchanted Rock."
"So...we're done, right? Why are you both laughing?"
Beginning the climb...which apparently began on the moon.
Buzz Aldrin, here I come! LOL!
Hero shot. Oh yes.
Stop touching me.
"I am going to OWN you Summit Trail. Bring it!"
Jessica slowing down my herculean climb.
"I'm on a ROCK, mother******!!"
Pants-eye-view of the steepness.
That dorky kid on the right keep saying there were "Dinosaur-us" tracks. Moron.
I hope you get used to asking people whether they would like paper or plastic!
Oh snap!
My humans!!
(note the Big Guy's devastatingly sexy unshaven look!)
"I'm having fun and all Big Guy, but can we stop and rest? I might die. For reals."
"We're stopping? Oh thank God."
"I am halfway up a mountain!! And a leaf is halfway in my face. LOL"
"It's like being on a boat but not moving. WTF?"
The view. Drink it in peeps. It always goes down smooth.
MY ROCK!!!
Pants' climbing tip:
It's always important to check your map to know where you are.
Pants' climbing tip #2:
If possible, have someone carry you going up.
"Covered in water...feeling the wind...this is the life!!!"
"Raise your paw if you want to be carried down!"
"I did it! Totes Magotes!"
What a day! I'll be back soon to talk about the big move, college football, why Houston smells weird, and all the things I'll miss about Austin. Until next time Reader Peeps. The Pants....is.....out!
GO IRISH!! GO OWLS!!
