Sex and the City Movie

Good morning peeps!! I saw the Sex and the City Movie last weekend and have been meaning to give my review. I was going to do it last night, but I got in a bit of trouble (more on that later), so suffice it to say, I was not in the mood to be on the computer blogging!

But, now I am, so here we go!! First, I would like to say that I love the Sex and the City!!! I loved watching the DVD's with the Big Guy, he had not seen it all on HBO, and neither had I, so it was a great bonding time!! We laughed and laughed over their silly clothes and randy ways! And - I will never forget the PUNS! So, I was very excited to see the movie and catch up with my girls - Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha!

The movie starts off four years later and all my girls are doing well! Carrie and Big are about to move in together and can I just say, Holy Spray Tan Mr. Big!!! Jeez - lay off the stuff - it does not make you look younger - just more orange!! Yikes!! The Pants was very scared by this orange monster appearing on the screen, but then the Big Guy told me who it was and I calmed down!!! Miranda and Steve are living in Brooklyn, with Brady, whose last name I am thinking must be Brady, so his name is Brady Brady, and that really bothers the Pants!!! But, he is a very stupid kid for someone who is supposed to be five, so I guess maybe calling him Brady Brady helps him remember his name! Charlotte and Harry have their adopted daughter Lily, who is also quite stupid, and as someone who was adopted myself, I know that being adopted doesn't make one stupid - maybe it is because they just let her sit around, and play with her hair, and color her stupid princess coloring books. I don't know! This also annoys the Pants. Finally, Samantha is living in L.A. with Smith, who plays like a doctor on T.V. or something - this whole plot line annoyed the crap out of me! Plus, watching 50 year old Samantha lust after her neighbor, who shows us his cock and balls by the way, was really kind of disturbing to watch - on many levels, not the least of which was the aforementioned cock and balls. Now, I know that Sex and the City is supposed to objectify men in some way, yada, yada, but seriously, I think maybe the reason we don't see many cock and balls in movies is because NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THE COCK AND BALLS! They are gross and not very attractive. The Pants had to put down her reese's pieces during that scene. Very uncomfortable. Plus, as a Scientologist, I am pretty sure looking at cock and balls is against my religion.

Anyway, Carrie and Mr. Big decide to get married, but he runs away when he sees her in that hideous bird hair piece thing she is wearing. Now, I can't say I blame the Mr. Big for this, the Pants was immediately on edge and went in to stalking mode when the bird appeared on screen, but again, the Big Guy explained that it was just her head piece and I sat down. So, he runs away, and as I said, good move, but then changes his mind, but she is already HUMILIATED, so she has to go to Mexico with her girls!!! Jessica and the Big Guy are going to Mexico for their honeymoon as well, so they were all, "oh, Mexico, it's going to be so fun, etc." well - bite me says the Pants. I am going to be staying in Plano with grandpa - how exotic!!! Anyway, Mexico is great, especially when Charlotte poops her pants!! This was hilarious!! And it made her so much more relatable as a character!! I mean, if I wore pants, I would certainly poop in them a lot, as it is, I have to be taken outside when the urge strikes, so I totally understand Charlotte, and now I like her!! Plus she is pretty, and I think she would make a much better dog owner than Jessica!

Also, Steve cheated on Miranda because she doesn't wax her va jay jay or something. I don't know, this was all so absurd to the Pants. Steve would never cheat on Miranda!!! He worships her!!! He is her bitch!!! And someone's bitch can't cheat on the bitch master, it is like a rule of the universe, the Pants knows this, the writers of the Sex and the City movie clearly, do not!

Anyway, the girls come back from Mexico, and Carrie redoes her apartment, hires an assistant who designs her a website and is looking for LOVE ("GAG"), and eventually figures out that she let the wedding get "bigger than BIG"! PUNS!!!! Meanwhile, Charlotte gets knocked up and has another baby girl, which prompts Harry to say, "we have a Lily and a Rose!" Congrats Harry!! What are you opening a retirement village or soemthing!! Let me call up Dorothy, Blanche and Sophia and we'll have a kick ass party at your place!

Anyway, it all winds up neatly, and the girls are back together in the City. It was kind of fluffy and pointless, but still fairly enjoyable, if only because it reminds the Pants of her girls and flirting with cute boys! So, the Pants gives the Sex and the City Movie Three Paws!!!