All Peace Talks are Henceforth Called OFF!

Well, good afternoon readers.  As you may or may not be aware, Jessica and I have been getting along better these days.  We are home together all day, and I've gotten used to her lying around on the couch, eating, and getting fat ways.  However, yesterday, this all ended.  Jessica, the Big Guy, and I went to the park in our neighborhood. It is a small park, but it is fun.  There are always a lot of young peeps running around, lots of squirrels, and lots of room to frolic for the Pants.  We were running around, having a good time, when the Pants began to explore one of the "play grounds."  I was sniffing around this equipment when Jessica lured me to the top of what is called a "slide."  Then, to my horror, as I was sniffing the slide and checking it out, I felt a foot push my bottom, and BOOM, down the slide I went!  Let me tell you readers, these "slides" are not fun!  They are terrifying death rides.  My paws were hurled into the air, I passed the Big Guy and was like "help me Big Guy!", but he couldn't!  The slide was too fast!!  I was swirled around and down until I landed with a thud and ran away.

At this point, Jessica laughed and laughed and was all, "Oh Clancy, I'm sorry, are you ok?"  Well Jessica NO!  I am NOT OK!!  And you Madam, are most definitely NOT OK!  You are a sick person who gets her jollies scaring the Pants.  So, needless to say, we are no longer friends.  It is once again, me and the Big Guy versus Jessica.  The Big Guy is still awesome.  One time, he put me on some playground equipment called a "swing"!  But that was totally cool!!!  I will admit that at the time I was scared shitless, but in hindsight, it was HILARIOUS!  Because the Big Guy is HILARIOUS!  Not evil, like Jessica!  Love you Big Guy!