Meredith Grey
Meredith Grey (get it? "Grey"'s Anatomy! oh man....verbal hinjinks!) is the central protagonist of the show even though she sucks really, really hard. More importantly she looks exactly like the Grinch!! Also her mom is dead, but was a great doctor (and a real Type A bizzatch) who had an affair with the Chief a long time ago Finally, McDreamy loves her, but she keeps making excuses not to be happy. Meredith is stupid.
"I've come to steal your jingtinglers and floobfloobers!!!"
Derek Shepherd
Known as "McDreamy" because of his hotness and his lustrous sweet, sweet hair, Derek is inexplicably in love with the Grinch. He is a world class brain surgeon who is so good at his job that up to half of his patients never survive!! He is kind of stupid.
"A threesome with Meredith and the Cat-in-the-Hat?? I'm in."
Isobel Stevens
First of all, who the hell spells their name "Isobel?" It's "IsAbel" moron! Known as "Izzy", she is the most annoying TV character ever created (well, next to her dead beau Denny who just would NEVER GO AWAY!!). She is whiny, needy, incompetent, selfish, annoying and dumb. other than that, she's awesome! On the plus side, she now has a brain tumor and will be leaving the show soon when she dies! Yay!!! Needless to say, she is super, super, super stupid.
"Does Excedrin get rid of brain tumors? I'm a very bad doctor."
George O'Malley
The whiniest character in television history, George somehow gets all the girls in the hospital to fall in love with him, but instead of hooking up with them he just pouts. A lot!! He is also leaving the show, sadly he hasn't been diagnosed with a brain tumor. Yet. Luckily he is almost never on the show anymore because even the show's writers ran out of ideas to make him interesting - no small feat!! He is super stupid.
"How come the girls in this hospital are the only ones alive that don't know I'm gay?"
Alex Karev
The most brooding character of the show, likes to sleep around, make fun of O'Malley and just generally be an ass. Needless to say, he's pretty awesome! Unfortunately for him, he likes Izzy, who ignored him for weeks because she was humping her dead boyfriend Denny (don't ask me to explain, suffice to say the story line was so dumb it made the Big Guy yell at the TV. A lot!). Alex does not suck at all!
Warning: Serious Brooding
Christina Yang
Yang, affectionally known as the "Pan Face" (not because she's Asian - the Pants loves Asians! She just has the flattest face ever!) is mean and would NEVER in a million years rub the Pants' belly. She is the only one of the young doctors who seems to have actually been through medical school and is very good at her job. Unfortunately, she's about as much fun to hang out with as a rattlesnake. She is stupid.
"If I met you Reader Peep, I would totally hate you."
Mark Sloan
Known as "McSteamy" due to his good looks and general awesomeness, Sloan is the best character on the show by like a billion miles. He slept with Addison and broke up McDreamy's marriage, but now they are buds - because hey, who can stay mad at this face?? He's now dating Meredith's younger sister which is kind of annoying, but nothing he does can make me love him less. More wisecracks and hijinks please Dr. Sloan!! You are the Pants' most favorite and the best!!
"Hey Pants, how about heading into the closet with me?"
Lexie Gray
Meredith's half sister (they share a looney tunes father), Lexie is an intern and has a photographic memory. She also is really, really lame. Unlike Izzy and George she isn't incompetent, she is just dull. Also, the Big Guy is perplexed with her because after two years he still can't decide whether she's attractive or not. Oh Big Guy!! Such trials!!! Plus, the Pants doesn't like her because recently she broke Dr. Sloan's...ummm...special little Sloan. Not cool Lexie!!! She is kind of stupid.
"Wait, you can break it?"
Addison Montgomery
Addison was awesome, but then she stupidly left Grey's Anatomy for one of the worst shows ever - Private Practice. Private Practice makes Grey's Anatomy look like the West Wing. Poor Addison and Taye Diggs, trapped on that crappy show. Grandpa John thinks Addision is super hot which makes the Pants feel weird inside. Not cool Grandpa John!! Anyway, Addison is McDreamy's ex-wife who, while she was married, cheated on him with McSteamy (I'm not judging Addy! He is yummy! LOL) and then hooked it up with Alex!! Plus any time she was stressed/upset/happy/sad/alive/breathing, she was boozing it up at the bar next door. She's awesome. Come back to Grey's Addison!!
The typical viewer's reaction to Private Practice.
Miranda Bailey
Dr. Bailey is kind of cool. She is fiery, feisty and all those other terms people on TV call spirited college point guards (except she is not a "gym rat"). Despite being pretty cool, she was responsible for the (lack of) development of the 5 young and generally terrible doctors since she was their resident. Despite this, she's proven to be one of the best surgeons at the hospital since her patients die only about 1/3 of the time. Her husband is also a huge loser - imagine Michael on "Lost" but times ten. Super stupid right? Dr. Bailey is okay.
"Yeah, Dr. Bailey has 'do me' eyes. Deal with it!"
Richard Webber
The Chief of Surgery was pretty awesome when he was just the dorky Chief who went fishing and wanted to hang out with the guys. Now that he's trying to brood (that's Alex's job Chief!) he's not nearly as funtastic. He used to get it on with Meredith's mom while she was married so they have a weird, but weirdly close relationship. Most importantly, the Chief would definitely rub the Pants' belly if given the chance!! He is okay.
"Our surgery department is outstanding! Over 8% of our patients survive and over 30% of those aren't in a coma a month later!"
The Interns
This is a picture of just one of the interns, who apparently are all morons. Instead of acting like they went to medical school, they act like they just got done tapping keg #2 at a frat party. Their actions generally involve acting stupid, making mistakes, making silly faces when being asked serious questions and possibly pooping their pants. They are ridiculous and must be stopped at all costs! They are stupid.
"Franks and beans! Franks and beans!"
So there you have most of the cast of the show. Also, if you are ever in Seattle and get sick under no circumstances should you ever go to this hospital. The odds are that you will die, no matter what minor affliction you might have.
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