.She is awesome and according to Jessica's dad, she is "a pistol." Of course, while I love grandpa, he also thinks Jessica is "awesome", so I take what he says with a grain of salt - especially after a few Miller Lites.
Anyways, we got our seats (the Big Guy carried me under his shirt - he told them he was fat and he has a rare condition where his fat moves! LOL Big Guy!) and settled in. I was very excited because I have been reading the reviews of the Batman and man, people are losing their minds for it!! But at the same time, I get scared totally easy at movies so I was pretty nervous. My owners and MM took turns calming me down and luckily, I snuck some of Jessica's wine which very much took the edge off. I know I shouldn't be drinking since I'm only 5, but that's like 35 in reader peep years. The Pants likes to have a buzz! Then the lights went down and the Dark Knight started, and HOLY CRAP!!! In just the first few minutes, the Joker robs a bank and kills people and I was like "Whoah Joker! Why you gots to kill all your peeps??" This Joker seemed to have no loyalties - the Pants ached to know more about the Joker and his demons!!!
Two and half hours later reader peeps, I can only say that the Dark Knight rocks super hard core trash party awesome!!! So much morality!! So much Joker madness!! So much Christian Bale without his shirt on!!! Well, not enough of the latter, but some is better than nothing. Christian Bale = sexy, even for a Pants! But this movie is not for the faint of heart! Main characters get blown up and have their faces melted off!! When the face melting off happened, the Pants hid under the chair!! It was like at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark with the face melting!! In my book, the only things scarier than face melting are fireworks and tape measurers. Terrifying those tape measurers!!!
As for cool stuff in the movie, the Batman rides a Batcycle that kicks tons of Gotham butt! I want the Batman to put my doggles on and take me on THAT ride with him. Think of all the chicks we would meet with both the Batman being awesome and me being so cute!!! Nobody could resist!! I know the Batman does pretty okay with girls, but combined with the Pants nobody would stand a chance against us!! Maybe the world is not ready for such a devastating duo.
Back to the movie, the acting was greenie-esque (i.e. worth a TON of greenies!!). The Christian Bale was great, the Aaron Eckhart surprised the Pants with his character arc, the Gary Oldman was top notch (but you shouldn't let your family think you are dead Commissioner Gordon - that is NOT COOL!) and obviously the Maggie Gyllenhall was a billion times better than sucky Katie Holmes, but the Heath Ledger stole the show! He made the Joker funny and terroristy at the same time!! Sometimes I laughed and laughed at the Joker's witticisms and insanity, and other times the Pants shuddered with terror! To the Pants, that is the sign of a classic villain. Well, that and crazy makeup! It looked like Jessica put it on for him! LOL!!! And in the end, no characters really win - everybody has lost something along the way. Especially the Big Guy, who drank way more beer than MM...I think he marked his territory in the theatre. Super gross Big Guy!!!
All in all, I give the Dark Knight my highest ranking! 4 Paws!!! I of course wanted to go out and party on Sixth Street after the movie, but my owners were tired and lame, so MM and I had to say goodnight. MM, if you want to have flirtinis one night without Jessica or the Big Guy around call me. We can be best friends?
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