Talking With the Pants: Chillin' in Spring

Reader Peeps! What a week! First there was a seriously loud fire alarm in our building and this one guy's apartment seriously looked like Niagra Falls. There was water everywhere and I was crazy freaked out.

Now, I know what you all are thinking: "Pants, you are worldly and awesome, but you have never been to Niagara Falls." Good point! Unlike all the people who bet money that UT would get back to a bowl this year, my reader peeps are way intelligent!! However, I figure if I mention Niagara Falls, then maybe, just maybe, the Big Guy will whisk me away to the one place on earth the Pants believes is the most romantic place ever!

Bask in the romance peeps!! Ooo-la-la!

The romance on LSD! LOL!

I know what you NOW are thinking..."Pants, you hate showers and loud noises. Why would you love a place that is basically the world's largest shower and louder than 8 Real Housewives trapped in an elevator?" Gold star to you readers! However, who knows why!? You can't predict the Pants because i'm loco! Never forget this picture!

Insane in the membrane bitches!

However, all joking aside, the fire alarm was seriously NOT COOL! I immediately went into panic mode and went to the one place that was I know from experience is safe from fire alarms, tape devils, fireworks, dragons and Jessica: under the bed!

Can't nobody faze me here yo!

I'll admit to you peeps because I trust you - I was totes terrified. The Big Guy tried to help the guy turn off the water but, god bless him, the Big Guy and the word "handy" don't go together. He just ended up getting soaked and looking silly. Meanwhile Jessica did me a solid and carried me outside away from the loudness. Seriously, you would have thought this had happened in our neighbor's apartment:

One time the Big Guy told Jessica there was a volcano, and she asked where, and he said in his pants! She just rolled her eyes, but I laughed and laughed. Oh Big Guy! You are almost as funny as Tico.

Anyways, the rest of the week was the ushe...I was ignored during the day, I did not get enough walking time at night or at lunch nor did I have my belly rubbed enough to the meet the Pants' diligent requirements. (sigh)

Despite this, Jessica went to NYC this weekend to see the Irish and hang with my peep Porst! It was just me and the Big Guy! Finally!

Bye-Bye!

So we hung out, chilled around the casa, and then I took a super good nap. I mean, possibly the nap to end all naps:

Most. Comfortable. Couch. Ever.

And today? We went out to Spring to chill with Grandma and Grandpa Cathey!! I love them! They rub my belly, give me food and let me play in their ginormous backyard. And, get this, their backyard HAS SQUIRRELS! Imagine your favorite place, multiply that place by ten levels of awesomeness, and then rub it in butter...that is their house.

Yes, Grandpa I love you too. Now, put me down so I can sleep in the comfy chair.

Not that Comfy Chair! Come on Editor, pull it together man!

Then Papa John totally played with me! Check out this video...but do not fail to note the toughness I show when an apparent earthquake hits:

Christian Siriano isn't the only one who is fierce!

Then I chilled with Grandma Marilyn! She drops food on the floor for me. I heart her.

Here we are totes gossiping about boys...she thinks George Strait is still hot! What? He's like 90! Oh Grandma Marilyn! I've got Bieber fever! LOL!

Unfortunately the Big Guy forgot to bring my food with him, so it's 8:30 and I'm starving.