This past Saturday I woke up after a night of sleeping with Jessica and the Big Guy and stretched out next to the bed. I had low hopes for the day since I fully expected them both to sleep ALL DAY!! (Seriously, no human persons like sleep as much as Jessica and the Big Guy. I mean, I LOVE sleep....but those two love it on a whole different level. It's like...well, you know how some gay people like pretending to be straight and then there is Tom Cruise who LOVES to pretend to be straight? Well that's them with sleep. I mean, no wonder they can't keep a job!)
But lo and behold, got up right after I did...which obviously freaked me out. I quickly checked the calendar to make sure it was Saturday. When this type of freaky Halley's Comet-type behavior occurs it usually means that (a) they are going to that stupid place they call "work" and are taking me to Karen and Luke's (yay!); (b) they are going to stupid "work" and are going to leave me at home or take me to the Ford's house which is TERRIFYING without Karen and Luke there (blah!) or (c) they are leaving on a trip and are going to leave me behind (double blah!).
"Man it's fun on vacation without the Pants! Suck it Clancy!"
NOT COOL GUYS!!!!
To add to my nervousness, I watched Jessica randomly pack a big bag...they were going on a trip!!! Oh no! To combat this I quickly devised a plan, McGruber-style - I followed the Big Guy from room to room all morning. I figured that if I stayed within 2 feet of him at all times he couldn't leave! The plan was flawless...or so I thought. Everything was cool until I leaned back to scratch myself, turned around...AND HE WAS GONE!!! Oh no!!! What was the Pants to do??
Oh wait, he just went to the bathroom. Oh stinky Big Guy!! :-(
But then the Big Guy packed up some of my stuff and we BOTH jumped into the Prius! Oh Joy! A few minutes later, we parked in front of a house...and I realized..IT WAS LAURA'S House!! Okay, it's Laura and Paul and Samantha's house, but it's quicker to say Laura. Oh joy of joys with whipped cream on top!! I sprinted in and within 5 seconds both Laura and Samantha were rubbing my belly!! The Big Guy said something, but let's face it, I didn't really care...I was at LAURA'S!!
For 12 hours it was heaven! I played with my peeps, went for walks, got treats and totally posed for some sweet pics for Laura.
"Can I make love to the camera or what??"
Around 8:30 everything was going along awesomely! I was regaling Laura and Paul with stories of how stupid and smelly Jessica and the Big Guy can be when there was a knock on the door. I leapt to my feet with excitement!! Who could it be??!! My mind raced!! MM?? Luke Ford?? Jack?? Sunny?? Air Bud?? Jimmy McNaulty?? NO! It was these two:
Above: Two ways to spell "D-I-S-S-A-P-P-O-I-N-T-M-E-N-T"
First of all, I quickly learned that not only was it NOT Air Bud, but my owners had been AT THE LAKE ALL DAY ON SUNNY'S BOAT AND THEY DID NOT INVITE ME!!! I quickly took Tico's advice and began my deep breaths so as not to completely FREAK OUT! As my loyal reader peeps remember, my one day on the boat last summer with Sunny (which is like 7 summers ago for the Pants) was only the greatest day of my life. Thanks for the invite losers.
Luckily, the Big Guy and Jessica must have swallowed some lakewater because instead of being lame, they wanted to hang out with Laura and Paul and party! So we all had some wine, gathered round, and totally hung out! Mozart tried to hump me a bunch! Coco told stories about the good old days...and Tico showed me some youtube clips that were totally NC-17!! I saw things that can't be unseen!! Oh Tico...you scoundrel! LOL!
All in all a good night was had. We went home, watched some boob tube and hit the sack. Sometimes Jessica and the Big Guy don't completely suck (though you're both on notice - next time I get to go on the boat!!!)
Heaven.
No comments:
Post a Comment